Kelli always thought it was strange that obits were written to say nice things about the person who died and who now couldn't care less. She wanted her obit to be about- and for - those she loves.  And so, like many things Kelli put her mind to, she got her wish:

Everyone, I am no doubt busy exploring heaven and being sure I am tucked tightly in the hearts of the people I love.  I sincerely hope that by now and somewhere along the road, I told you how I felt about you, not once, but many times, through words and actions.  If ever it wasn't nice, you may have deserved it. Ha! But I hope you told me too. If so, you made me a better person and more ready to step toward heaven.

l was born September 29, 1964 in Charleston, West Virginia.  My Dad,  my Mom and later, my step-dad all loved me very much, as did my big sister. My dad invested his life in me to get me through my junior high and high school years. Saying a temporary goodbye to him was the hardest thing I've ever done. Until now, and until these temporary goodbyes. My sister has helped me through countless medical and emotional trials, especially in the last few years. And my mom has prayed countless prayers, helped in countless ways, and made countless dishes of her famous mac and cheese, with love, over the decades.  Love and prayers is really all I needed at the end of the day. And I have been forever surrounded by those.  I grew up in St. Albans, WV and had so many great elementary, junior high and high school friends. West Virginia people are just an amazing, genuine, strong, loving, spicy, gold-hearted breed that I always felt so blessed to have around me—as friends and close extended family. I love you all from the bottom of my heart. We worked hard to ensure that unique WV brand was woven into the DNA of our two kids. It's funny we were blessed with many of a very similar breed in North Carolina. Y'all know what I mean.

I met the love of my life in the hallway of Saint Albans High School when I was 15. I knew in the first few conversations that something life-changing was happening. A Cheap Trick concert with friends and a trip to the St Albans Town Fair sealed the deal. I gained the amazing Kukura family in the process—what  beautiful big-hearted people I have loved endlessly!

We went to WVU and then were married in May 1988. I have no idea what we did the first ten years before our first baby was born! Lots of hiking and camping in the Blue Ridge Mountains, trying to get established in our jobs, exploring Delaware, Baltimore and Pennsylvania. Working for DuPont in public and government affairs for 20 years was both the best and worst of work life. What an amazing team we had in Ops PA! Then I had a blast at the NC League of Municipalities, with another whip-smart, fun team! I met people that I have loved till my dying day. You know who you are. I loved lobbying and crisis/issues management. It was challenging and exciting, and I am proud my career was built upon honesty and integrity. And later in my career,  I met people I wished I hadn't, but I learned lessons from the trauma, and tried to pass what I learned to my kids. That's life, isn't it?  We moved to Tennessee,  North Carolina and Pennsylvania/Delaware with DuPont. Then back to NC. Our baby Katelin, who we had struggled to have, was born as a Nashville girl. We decided to move to North Carolina the first time so I wouldn't have to travel so much and could love on our girl. How blessed I was to make that move—I met my best friend, Jennifer, who proceeded to get me through decades of absolute crazy - whether it was work, kids, cancer, or heartbreaking loss. We were told Katelin would be an only child. But just a few months after I said goodbye to Dad, I said hello to Cole. God knew.

My husband, John, has endured so much, more than anyone will ever know. But he has not missed a beat in caring for me and for our kids. I am so proud of the father and husband he is. I will sure be busy lobbying God on an easy, fun next season of life for my best guy. I was first diagnosed Stage 3 in 2004 when the kids, Katelin Elisabeth and John Cole,  were 6 and 3. I prayed every single night for years that I could get 10 years out from diagnosis, to try to get the kids 'mostly' raised so that the impact on them would be lessened. As I write this, they are 23 and 20. And they are the lights of my life! There is no way I can express in words how grateful I am to God, and how proud I am of them both. Love like this never dies. Of that I am certain. I cannot wait to watch the amazing things they will do with their lives. And I am so grateful God allows me to be their mom—it was my life's purpose here on earth and certainly follows me into eternity.  They will be the first to tell you that leaving my earthly body in no way means I will stop giving the advice, guidance and love they may-or may not—want.

Saying a slow goodbye has been so hard on my family, but of course it also allows it all to be said. My kids and my husband can never doubt how much I love them. Some days may be hard for them, and for others that I love so fiercely; there's heartbreak, days when we think things won't ever be better, days when we just can't. But then they are. And we do. Because that's how love works. More love always heals. That's what a long goodbye has taught me. That love always always always outweighs the sorrow. My mom has taught us all that—and I'm grateful for the lesson she has given the kids—it will serve them well now.

So, love others and yourself hard as you can. Take the time. Say the things. Reach. Hug often. Pray more.

And I will see you soon. ~ Kelli

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Kelli asked that we have a fun gathering when the weather warms and everyone has had a chance to receive their Covid vaccines. In lieu of flowers, please consider a donation to the Lenoir County SPCA, 2455 Rouse Road Extension, Kinston, NC 28504 - 252-520-0003 www.lenoircountyspca.org